dreams

i keep having dreams about tucker.

now, most folks might not understand how comforting and heart-breaking this is.

it's an odd, odd thing to be comforted and smacked with reality at the same time.

in most of my dreams, tucker just shows up, quite randomly, and allows me to

pet him, pick him up, rubs on my legs, swishes his tail and purrs at me.

is he wishing me well?

does he know i'm still grieving his loss?

is he helping me heal?

i think so, yes.

pictures from june on the last day of july

we return a portion of the Earth's blessings.

may She continue to grant them,

may we continue to deserve them.

sunday musings

two things i ask of You, O Lord;

do not refuse me before i die:

keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches,

but give me only my daily bread.

proverbs 30:7 & 8 NIV

hospitality

this past week, we had the privilege of showing hospitality to my father-in-law. he was in need of a mini-vacation of sorts; for some time to relax in a peaceful setting.

i must admit i was hesitant at extending an invitation, especially an open one. our cottage is so very small, with only one bedroom and one bathroom. it can also be very cold in the winter in the rooms furthest from the heater, with ice forming on the inside of the windows over night despite our best attempts to insulate them. also, my FIL brought his young boxer and we have two dog-phobic cats. so perhaps one can imagine what a slight panic i felt at this visit, even while knowing in my heart and soul that showing hospitality is a calling of the Christian life.

so what did we do? we opened our home, small and chilly as it is, up to my dear FIL (and his boxer!). the cats stayed in the bedroom, door shut and small ceramic heater running, for the visit's duration. dear FIL slept on our guest futon in front of the monitor heater, with his boxer curled next to him on an old(er) blanket. we ate simple meals, at the table, and gave thanks for the what the LORD had provided. we spent time talking about all manner of things. i learned that upkeep of even a small house takes a large amount of energy when company is staying over. most evenings after cleaning the kitchen, i was so tired that i didn't have the energy to worry about the next day's activities, cleaning jobs, or meals. and all-in-all, i found that the LORD blessed me greatly by allowing me to be a blessing.

even in the midst of our little, the LORD can use it to accomplish much.

Jesus said to them, "How many loaves do you have?"
And they said, "Seven, and a few fish."
So He commanded the mulitude to sit down on the ground.
So they all ate, and were filled, and they took up seven large baskets full of the fragments that were left.
Matthew 15:34-35, 37 NKJV

winter weather

this evening, we are expecting (and in some parts of the county already experiencing) the first snowfall of the season! not much of it is going to hang around very long, but still the temperatures are dipping down, even if we don't get but a dusting.

i would like to remind any who read this post that not all are as fortunate or blessed as we are. there are, no doubt, families still cold in their houses/apartments right now. let us all pray for those who are struggling to keep warm this cold time of year as well as put our faith in action by doing what we can to help, whether that be make a donation to a charity providing heating assistance, donating quilts/blankets/sweaters/warm slippers, etc. or helping a neighbor directly to pay for heating fuel.

LORD, hear our prayer!

the importance of family

it has been brought more and more to my attention during these times of uncertain finances how important family is! i am feeling more and more led by the LORD to 'circle the wagons' and gather my immediate and extended family about me. not solely for my own protection and support (although i assure you that has crossed my mind), but to ensure that no-one amongst my kith and kin is left wanting, either financially, physically, emotionally or spiritually. this, i believe, is how GOD designed families to truly be: a support and asset in times of trouble and to share joy and goodness in times of blessings (and i've been reflecting on how no time is purely a time of trouble; there are always blessings if we look for them, but that is another topic).

by the way, the cinnamon rolls of the previous entry turned out wonderfully! i look forward to making them a regular treat during the coming cooler months.

things have been busy here at the cottage, so i've not been online or posting very much at all lately. the garden is in full swing, with blooms on many of our plants (except for the tomatoes; they're having problems) and the herbs we've planted are thriving (although i'll have to stop picking leaves off the catnip for a bit, much to the disappointment of three kitties). weaving is coming along well, with a new warp in the process of being wound on and an order from the gallery in the wings as well.

the things i've been struggling with, though, are heavy. i've been at a loss lately in terms of faith and have really felt dry and parched in my committment to Christ. i should confess that i've not helped myself very much in this area; instead of praying more, being more vigilant about avoiding known temptations and calling on a few trusted friends for prayer/advice, i've been just moping and wallowing in despair and dallying with temptation wherever i've come across it (and, yes, sometimes i've actively sought it out). i would like to write that my faith, perseverence and pray are increasing and strengthening, but i don't know that they are. for today, however, i'm making a conscious effort to turn to the LORD, in confession, in petition, in praise...in faith.

it's a good thing that i'm not too terribly afraid of questioning beliefs and having doubts; i went through such an incredibly intense period of that during my late teens/entire twenties that i'm sure God got tired of me obsessing over the same issues for literally years. thankfully, He used that time to gently guide me into new ways of thinking based on His Word (renewing the mind, anyone?) that otherwise i would've laughed off as stupid (yes, i was young and arrogant even though i was confused. now the 'young' has disappeared and just left 'arrogant'!)

there are some blogs i've bookmarked specifically to help me through tough times, either from external persecution (from misunderstanding, well-meaning people) or from internal doubts; these fall into two different groups: gentle blogs and right blogs. the two categories are not mutually exclusive; the gentle blogs are homemaker blogs that address practical issues, as well as marriage ups-n-downs and spiritual ones, too. the right blogs give rebuttle to feminist arguments, with the theology and Scripture behind the answers clearly made plain. both sets of blogs are used by God in my life to encourage me to press on towards the goal.